


of domino's, ring pops, and weddings

by yongz



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Past Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Lu Han, Weddings, i have no clue what to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 04:44:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18423057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yongz/pseuds/yongz
Summary: written for this prompt: au where sexiu the most unexpected and the least popular couple in exo and in kpop rocks everybody's world when dispatch releases pictures of them on a date and hotly making out. And as if that's not enough to break every fans and shippers hearts around the globe, months after, their company, SM announces Minseok's pregnancy and the couple's engagement. Cue the star studded wedding of the century





	of domino's, ring pops, and weddings

**Author's Note:**

> ok  
> i really tried my best at crack... never tried it before  
> i apologize to the prompter sdkfksdjf  
> also i noticed you wanted it R rated but i wasn't sure how to fit that in, sorry

  **SOOMPI: **BREAKING** HOT PICTURES OF SEHUN AND XIUMIN (EXO) MAKING OUT**

Fans all over the world are shocked as Dispatch releases photos of Xiumin (EXO) and Sehun (EXO) making out on a park bench beside the SM Entertainment building. This was an extremely surprising turn of events, as while many fans anticipated couples from EXO emerging, certainly no one expected it to be Sehun and Xiumin.

One avid EXO-L lamented the idols' relationships. "Does this mean that Hunhan is not real?" She sniffled, and promptly burst into tears after that short statement.

Many fans took to the internet to release their sadness.

"But Xiuchen :((((" reads one comment.

"Ugh, Sehun and Xiumin really?"

"Sehun deserverse so much better"

|__reply: "how could you diss xiumin like that. at least xiumin can dance, sing, *and* rap. and besides, you spelt "deserves" wrong, idiot."

            |___ _4328 More Replies_

But this is not the case for all. The small community for Xiuhun rejoices at the photos. Many Xiuhun fans have taken to air analyzing the few snaps. Few even claim that in the last shot, what appears to be Sehun's tongue is in Xiumin's cheek. Fans have analyzed every detail from the position of the sun to what clothes they're wearing (click **here** for a list with links to shopping).

Take a look for yourself:

xiuhun1.jpg

xiuhun2.jpg

xiuhun3.jpg

xiuhun4.jpg

xiuhun5.jpg

xiuhun6.jpg

[Caption: HOT Date Between Sehun and Xiumin, Captured on Camera!]

Soompi has reached out to SM for a official statement. While an official statement from SM has not been released, Sehun has commented on the pictures posted to Twitter.

 **oohsehun:** Look hyung, _@e_xiu_0,_ that's us :tongue:

Comments:

 **hunHan947_:** ugh seriously? seems sketch to me, bet this is some publicity ploy

_948 Likes, 12409 Replies_

**xiuxiuchandesuu:** Look at that tongue tho in MinMin's cheeks O_O

_213 Likes, 32 Replies_

**ayoogg:** gay

_12 Likes, 2 Replies_

|__ **Anonymous replied:** No shit

oo0o0oo

Junmyeon knocked on Sehun's door one day armed with his phone and a grim face. "Sehun," he said. "have you seen the news?"

"Yeah." Sehun deadpanned. "Which one? _Florida Man Shoots off Own Penis_ or _World Record for Longest Hotdog Broken_?" Junmyeon glared at Sehun. "You're going to have to be more specific." He said.

Junmyeon sighed. "Take a look." He handed Sehun his phone, where the title _SOOMPI: **BREAKING** HOT PICTURES OF SEHUN AND XIUMIN (EXO) MAKING OUT_ was shown. It was an article featuring pictures of Sehun and Minseok "making out," as stated in the title. Quite an accurate title if Sehun had to say.

"So?" He said.

"So?!" Junmyeon looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. "I--How could you be so foolish?" He slapped Sehun's arm. Sehun made an overexaggerated wounded sound and rubbed his arm. Which _did_ hurt, thanks very much Junmyeon.

"Relax hyung, it's just a couple of photos. It's not like we were fucking. Though _that_ would--"

"Don't get any ideas." Junmyeon warned.

Sehun waved him off. "Besides, the fans love it."

"I'm pretty sure the fans hate it." Junmyeon scrolled down to the comments section and showed Sehun various fans complaining about their "ruined ships."

Scrolling through, Sehun snorted. "Chanhun? Really?" He passed Junmyeon's phone back to him. "You think I give a shit about what these people think?"

Junmyeon sighed. Again. Probably for like the millionth time in this conversation. It probably had to do something with his withering disappointment with his rowdy children. "SM has to release a statement about..." Junmyeon made a rather vague motion with his hands which either resembled something akin to a disfigured potato or the dented skull of a T-Rex.

"Of course. So just say that we're in a relationship. End of story."

"Publicity will want something more to distract the fans from the negatives. Something extremely positive."

"A wedding?" Sehun suggested.

"No." Junmyeon sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Just, think about something _reasonable_ to do, okay?"

"I'll think about it." Sehun said, not intending to think about it at all. He flipped Junmyeon off when his back was turned to leave.

oo0o0oo

Junmyeon cornered Minseok as he was leaving his room for presumably a bowl of the dinner that Kyungsoo made. "Minseok," he said. "Have you seen the news?"

"News?" Minseok said. "What news?" Junmyeon showed him the headlines and the comment section. Somehow the comments wars had increased in the 10 minutes between him talking to Sehun and him now talking to Minseok. A group of avid "xiuchen" fans had taken over, replying to every comment about how "stupid and full of bullshit" this whole thing was and using _#xiuchen_ on everything, much to the dismay of the seemingly only two people who approved of Sehun and Minseok.

Minseok simply shrugged. "I thought we were being discreet."

"Discreet! How?" Junmyeon sighed. "You two were full blown making out in a very public park _in the middle of the day_ may I add. With tongue even."

"Hey," Minseok said. "Sehun has a lovely tongue."

Junmyeon rubbed his forehead. "That's not the point."

oo0o0oo

It was one evening that Sehun put his plan into action, so to speak. There was nothing particular special about that day. They had just returned to the dorms after dance practice. Sehun and Minseok were sitting in the "living room," if it could be called that. Currently it was just them in the dorms. Everyone else had gone out for dinner, while the two of them elected to stay in and order something.

"Minseok." Sehun said. He put down his phone.

"Yeah?" Minseok looked up from his laptop where he was watching _The Arrow_. Sehun was 99% sure he watched it because the actor who played Oliver Queen had rippling abs and looked hot while doing the salmon ladder (not that Sehun was jealous or anything, of course...).

"How do you feel about getting married?"

"Is that a proposal?" Minseok laughed. "Hands down worst proposal. And that's saying something."

Sehun raised an eyebrow. "Who else proposed to you?"

"Luhan." Minseok answered.

"Ah," Sehun nodded. "But I'm being serious."

"Really?" Minseok tilted his head. He smirked. "You better amp it up then if I want me to accept."

Sehun laughed and moved to swat him but Minseok beat him to it. Minseok pretended to hit him before laughing and moving away. "Do you wanna try that again?" Minseok asked.

Sehun coughed. "Ahem." Minseok remained impassive.

"Kim Minseok," Sehun said dramatically. He kneeled. "Will you, do _me_ , the honors of being my husband?"

"Oh Sehun," Minseok said, clasping Sehun's hands around the ring box. "I absolutely...." Minseok trailed off. Sehun waited. "Not."

Sehun's heart dropped. "A-are you--"

"I'm kidding." Minseok swatted him gently, grinning. "You should've seen the look on your face."

"Fuck you."

Minseok raised an eyebrow. "Is that a request?"

Sehun pretended to consider it. "Maybe? I don't know. Do you want it to be?" He smiled.

Minseok kissed him. Breaking away, he said, "Quickly now."

"The Domino's isn't coming until another 25 minutes." Sehun smirked. "That's plenty of time." He grabbed Minseok's shirt and pulled him back for another kiss.

oo0o0oo

**SOOMPI: **BREAKING** SEHUN AND XIUMIN (EXO) EXPECTING CHILD AND TO GET MARRIED**

This just in, the idol couple dubbed as "Xiuhun" by shippers have released an official statement from SM saying that: "Sehun and Xiumin are set to be wed in March. The wedding will be open to press."

In another statement, released moments after, it reads: "Please wish your congratulations to Sehun and Xiumin for their marriage, and for their child."

Not late after, the internet exploded with comments from all over exclaiming emotions ranging from anger to elation about Xiumin's pregnancy and the engagement. Amidst the growing chaos, the formerly small Xiuhun community is growing strong and fast. Many Xiuhun shippers are of course, extremely excited about the wedding and already predict it to be the "wedding of the century."

However, this is not the case for all. Many fans show their doubt about the genuity of the wedding, and even the legitimacy of the child. Some believe that Xiumin is not carrying Sehun's child, but rather Chen's or some even speculate Baekhyun's. The theories range from the marriage being a publicity stunt to it being Sehun who is pregnant, while Xiumin is not even pregnant at all.

Whatever the case is, our congratulations to the happy couple.

Comments:

 **sexiu_o:** OMGOMG congrats!!! i'm so happy for them :sob: :sob: :sob:

_918 Likes, 524 Replies_

**XIUCHEN4ever:** sooo obviously bs. SM really believes than can pull this one off?

_3214 Likes_

|__ **Anonymous replied:** Damn man, why can't you just be happy for them

            |___ **XIUCHEN4ever:** lmao No need to get pressed. It's not real anyways #xiuchen

                        |___ **Seho0n:** this is why no one likes xiuchen shippers

                                    |__ _1240 More Replies_

 **Shuminn:** i wonder what gender the baby is

_102 Likes, 10 Replies_

oo0o0oo

This time it was Minseok's door that Junmyeon was practically breaking down as he knocked. "Minseok!" He shouted. "I know you're in there!"

Minseok opened the door shortly after, almost causing Junmyeon to fall on his face as he was leaning on the door heavily. "What?" He said.

"Y-you!" Junmyeon pointed at him. "You're pregnant?"

Minseok deadpanned him. "Is that your way of saying 'Congratulations?'"

"Oh! Yes, I'm so sorry. Of course! Congratulations, by the way." Junmyeon turned a bright shade of red, almost rivalling the pasta sauce they had for dinner that night. Minseok chuckled at Junmyeon's flustering.

Junmyeon finally calmed down enough to say," May I ask when?"  
"A few weeks ago." Minseok said. He blushed. It was a bit embarrassing actually. In their haste to have their celebratory fuck before the food arrived and especially before any of the members might have returned to the dorm they had forgone condoms. The following week Minseok woke up violently sick, so he stayed back from dance practice. Left to his own devices at the dorm, he began to have an inkling of what he suspected to be going on. Without telling the managers he snuck out and bought himself a test. Sure enough, it was positive. Minseok then went through a bit of a crisis before he calmed himself down and called Sehun to tell him. It wasn't something that they had discussed before, having a family. But Minseok decided he wanted to keep it.

Sehun, much to Minseok's relief, was elated. He asked what gender the baby was to which Minseok responded by calling him an idiot, as it wasn't old enough to have even developed that far.

Junmyeon smiled. "Congratulations," he said again. "Truly. I mean it."

"Thanks." Minseok said.

"You're also getting married." Junmyeon stated.

"Yes."

"This wasn't just a spur of the moment thing to cover the backlash from those photos, right?"

Minseok didn't answer right away. "You'll have to ask Sehun," he said. "He's the one who proposed."

 _Oh_ Junmyeon thought. "Oh." He said.

Minseok bit his lip. "It was a bit of a surprise but, a good one."

Junmyeon laughed. "I can imagine. But I have to ask, why didn't you tell us?"

Minseok colored red. "I'm so sorry," he said. "We didn't know how to break it to you all and we ended up telling the managers before everyone anyways for the statement and..." Minseok rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah." He finished.

"Don't worry about it." Junmyeon reassured. "I expect that--"  
"MINSEOK!" Jongdae's voice could be heard from two rooms over. "YOU'RE PREGNANT?"

"What?" Baekhyun screeched from another room. He continued screaming while the sounds of multiple pairs of footsteps approaching grew louder.

"Congratulations." Junmyeon repeated, snickering. Minseok looked like he wanted to hide behind Junmyeon.

"Thanks," Minseok said, now with Jongdae and Baekhyun clinging to him like a pair of koalas.

"Minseooook." Baekhyun wailed, hugging Minseok's left leg.

oo0o0oo

Junmyeon abandoned Minseok to the rest of EXO and went to search for Sehun. It didn't take long for him to find him. Per usual, he was in his room.

"Sehun?" He said, opening the door. The man in question was lying on the bed. Sehun glanced at Junmyeon as he entered and closed the door behind him.

Best to get straight to business. "Your proposal to Minseok. It wasn't just a spur of the moment idea to cover up the backlash, was it?" Sehun looked affronted.

Sehun sighed. "No, hyung. Of course, that's an added benefit but..." He glanced at the floor and barely mouthed the rest of the sentence.

"What?" Junmyeon cupped his ear. "Stop mumbling."

"Minseok's been wanting to get married for a while I think." Sehun said. "I... I caught him looking at wedding venues the other day."

Junmyeon softened.  "I'm sorry for thinking that, I just, had to make sure that no one was going to be hurt." Sehun nodded, understanding.

Junmyeon sniffled. "Come here." He motioned.

Sehun froze. "Are you going to cry?" He said. He looked like he was ready to bolt at any moment.

"My children are growing up so fast." Junmyeon lamented.

"I'm older than you," said Minseok from outside the room.

"Minseok." Sehun said. "Have you been eavesdropping?" Minseok did not reply, but Sehun could see his feet through the crack at the bottom of the door.

oo0o0oo

Sehun and Minseok were going over the invites. They were your stereotypical "save the date" cream colored envelopes with fancy thick paper and swirly calligraphy. Call Minseok a sap, but he found them cute. He picked one up and ran his finger over the lettering. An idea popped into his head.

"Let's invite Luhan." He said.

"Luhan?" Sehun repeated. "As in, Luhan-that-used-to-be-in-EXO-with-us Luhan? Luhan-your-ex Luhan?"

"... Yes?" Minseok said, raising an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware you knew any other Luhans."

"I don't." Sehun answered. "I was just... Surprised that you wanted to invite him I guess.

"We're friends." Minseok said.

"Friends."

Minseok stared at Sehun, an unreadable look on his face. He tilted his head. "Are you jealous?" He crooned.

"What?" Sehun flushed. "No. Don't be stupid." Sehun scowled and crossed his arms. He pointedly looked away from Minseok, who just chuckled and sat down beside him.

He put an arm around Sehun, who was _still_ pretending to ignore him. "Don't worry. You've got nothing to worry about."

oo0o0oo

_Moments before the wedding_

Junmyeon walked into the bar that they were using as a dressing room and prep room. In hindsight, having an outdoors wedding probably wasn't a good idea. Minseok was sitting alone at the bar, holding a bottle of soju. Sehun was off to the side in one of the lounge chairs. A stylist was spraying him with copious amounts of hairspray, not that Sehun seemed to notice.

Junmyeon walked up to Minseok and took the bottle of soju from him. "Are you drunk?"  
"No," Minseok scoffed. "I only had 6 bottles of soju." Junmyeon sighed and passed Minseok a portable mouth spray bottle. Minseok spritzed it once before tossing it over the bar.

"Hey!" Junmyeon reached out to catch it but failed. It fell behind the bar. Junmyeon glared at Minseok who just rolled his eyes.

The bell above the door rang. A Domino's delivery guy walked in holding one box. "I'm here for 'Hun'?" The Domino's delivery guy read off a receipt he was holding.

"Here." Sehun waved an arm. The DDG (Domino's Delivery Guy) walked over to him and handed him the box.  
"Your total is 5,600 won." He said.

"Cool," Sehun said. The word came out a bit muffled due to the fact that he had already opened the box and stuffed 3 garlic knots in his mouth. He wiped his fingers off on his pants before handing the guy a 5k won note.

"This isn't enough." DDG said.

"It's not?" Sehun chewed. "Sorry, I don't have any more." Sehun shrugged and stuffed a few more garlic knots in his mouth. Junmyeon, who had watched the whole thing, walked over and passed the DDG another 5k won note.

"Keep the change," he mumbled. "for your troubles." The DDG thanked him profusely and soon left.

"Bye!" Sehun shouted after him. A garlic knot crumb flew out of his mouth as he spoke and landed on the floor. "Whoops." He said.

Minseok wrinkled his nose. "Gross."

oo0o0oo

The wedding procession seemed to be taking forever. First it was Sehun's parents, then Minseok's parents, then even _more_ people that Junmyeon didn't really recognize. Frankly, Junmyeon was just about to doze off when Baekhyun elbowed him sharply, which wasn't fair, as to his left Yixing _was_ actually sleeping. Finally, Minseok started to come down the aisle. He looked stunning. Immediately, there was a rise in noise as the horde of reporters started clicking as they took pictures. Junmyeon wished they hadn't allowed the press in.

"Wait!" Someone shouted from the back of the seats. They stood up. Everyone gasped. It was Luhan. All the cameras swiveled and focused on him, snapping shots of him standing there.

"Minseok," he said. He tried to move towards Minseok, who was frozen halfway down the aisle, but kept bumping into the other guest's legs. "Ugh. Could you," he made a shooing motion with his hands. "move your legs?" The guests didn't move. Luhan glared at them and continued to force his way through their legs. The park was pin drop quiet besides Luhan's shuffling and the occasional click of a camera shutter.

"Minseok." He said again. "I still love you." Minseok stared at him. Luhan stared at Minseok. Everyone stared at the two of them. Sehun stared at his phone.

"I-I..." Minseok glanced at Sehun, who had pulled out his phone and was playing Fruit Ninja. The sounds of slicing could be heard across the park. "I know."

"You do?" Luhan said, his eyes lighting up.

"Yeah?" Minseok shrugged. "You mentioned it a lot. Now, unless you have anything else to tell me, preferably something I _didn't_ know then can we continue please?"

 "I--" Luhan stammered, flabbergasted. "But I love you."  
"You _just_ said that." Minseok said.

"B-but--" Luhan grabbed onto Minseok's arm. "You can't marry that, that fleshy Dorito!" Minseok wrenched his arm out of Luhan's grasp.

"I--"  
"Hey!" Sehun said, looking up from his phone. "If anything, I'm a Nacho Cheese Dorito. Everyone knows those are the best." Luhan ignored him.

"Marry me," Luhan said. He kneeled and took out a black case. The audience gasped as he opened it.

Minseok didn't even flinch. "Is that a ring pop?"

"I didn't have time okay? I barely got off my flight in time for your wedding." Luhan frowned and looked quite put upon. "I have a real ring back in China."

"And you didn't bring it?"

"I, forgot." Luhan admitted, looking sheepish. Minseok clicked his tongue disapprovingly. He leaned over Luhan and plucked the ring pop out of the case.

"Blue Raspberry," Minseok said, admiring the blue color of the ring pop. "my favorite."

"So you accept?" Luhan stood up, excitement leaking into his voice.

"No." Minseok said, and popped the ring pop into his mouth. Plastic and all. He chewed with a very audible crunch. Luhan looked crestfallen. Minseok did not spit out the plastic. He swallowed before saying, "Thanks for the ring pop though." Minseok pat Luhan's back before turning back to face Sehun, who had moved onto Angry Birds halfway through the conversation. The green pigs were oinking ferociously.

Minseok proceeded down the aisle, startling the poor musicians who hadn't even started playing again. Luhan just stood on the aisle, looking lost. Someone took pity on the poor guy and pulled him over to an empty seat, where he vanished between the many guests and many, many reporters attending.

Just as Minseok reached the altar, Sehun deftly pocketed his phone and straightened his bowtie. "Is your tongue blue?" He asked. Minseok stuck out his tongue at him. It was bright blue. Sehun snorted. "Nice."

The priest coughed before continuing the ceremony. "Do you, Kim Minseok take Oh Sehun to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." Minseok said.

"And do you, Oh Sehun--"

"I do." said Sehun. The priest shot him a dirty look. Two rows back Chanyeol burst into tears. Kyungsoo silently passed him the box of tissues he brought.

"You may kiss." The priest said.

Sehun and Minseok leaned in to kiss. They shared a passionate kiss, with tongue apparently, if the bulge in their cheeks was anything to go by. The horde of reporters snapped billions of photos, the flashes painting the couple white. Several minutes later, they pulled away.

Sehun made a disgusted face and wiped his mouth. "You taste like ring pop."

"And you taste like garlic knots." Minseok said. "Stop ordering Domino's." Sehun made a face at him. Minseok made a face back. The audience cheered, ignoring their conversation. The next day, articles all over were plastered with pictures of Sehun and Minseok kissing on the altar. Every news article dubbed it the "perfect wedding of the century," despite "ex-EXO member Luhan almost becoming a homewrecker."

Months later, a Soompi article dropped, titled: ****HOT** SEHUN AND XIUMIN (EXO) CHILD BORN, IT'S A GIRL**

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed it <33


End file.
